Phanfictions

I’ll be back June 30th!!!! 🎉

Looking forward to get back to writing! I missed it so much!

About to see fucking Troye Sivan live!!!! Fangirling so hard right now! 😭🙌🏻

Innuendos - Short Image - Requst Sunday #21

~The Fanfic for today´s Request Sunday is based on the following Request~

„Dan, can you pass me the flour? “You ask fully concentrated in your baking. “More flour?” Dan asks doubtful.

“Yes?” you respond unsure “I mean, look at this. Is this supposed to be so wet and sticky when I put my fingers in it?” Your words are followed by a bright laughter from Dan. You need a moment to process why Dan is laughing before you notice you innuendo and burst out laughing. Dan softly wraps his arms around you, still giggling about your words. You rest your head on his shoulder, shaken by laughter. “I´m sorry, that sounded so wrong.” You laugh.

You just started your yearly Halloween baking, Dan is wearing his black Halloween Jumper and decorated the kitchen even though you were not filming and for some reason you´ve been saying the weirdest innuendos the whole day. Dan softly breaks away and passes you the flour. You pour a bit into the bowl and keep on kneading the dough. “Better” you state after a few moments. “Now we have to put this baby in the fridge for about an hour – I´m sorry, even I noticed that that sounded weird.” You say giggling. “Honey that is definitely not the weirdest thing you said today.” Dan says before wrapping his arms around you and joining your laughter. Together you put the dough in the fridge and wait for it to cool.

About an hour later you´re back in the kitchen and you take the dough out of the fridge. You softly press your finger against it to check it´s consistency. “Oh my god, touch it, it got really hard!” you say excitedly. Dan blankly stares at you for a moment but then decides to just ignore what you just said. You spread some flour in the kitchen counter and put the dough on top. “Dan can you hand me the –“ you search your head for the word rolling pin, but the word just won´t come. “the – you know the big hard round thingy.” You try to describe what you mean. Dan shakes his head in disbelief and starts to leave the room, but can´t repress a grin.

“Oh god I´m sorry. A rolling pin. A rolling pin. I meant a freaking rolling pin.” You say going after him. You find him in his room, lying on his bed fully bursting out in laughter. He is holding his tummy and no sounds leave his mouth because he is laughing so hard. He reaches out for you and as soon as you grab it he pulls you onto the bed with you. You both lie bed laughing at what you said. Just when you think you calm down you share a glance and burst out laughing again. “My abs hurt so much.” Dan presses out in between laughter. “And I´m hungry.” He adds in a whiny tone. “You want to take a break from baking and order some pizza?” you ask, while some quiet giggles still fall from your mouth. Dan nods and quickly pulls you closer for a soft kiss on your forehead, nose and eventually your lips. “You are the new queen of innuendos.” He giggles before standing up.

Request Sunday is coming tomorrow instead because I currently fail at being a functional human being, let alone keeping a schedule

Love is just a glance away…

It was your first year at Vidcon and you really enjoyed spending time with all those other Youtubers. You made some collabs with different Youtubers, but this was the first time you could spend time with all of them together as a group. You loved meeting from all over the world and doing the panels with the other Youtubers, and you loved the after party. You gossiped with Joey and drank cocktails with Louise and Ingrid and danced with Tyler and the others until your feet hurt in your heels. But what you loved most are the things that happened in between.

The first time you noticed him looking at you was while you got your first cocktail. You felt a glance lingering on your body and when you turned around you saw Dan Howell looking you up and down from the other side. He notices you and quickly looks down at his feet. You can´t repress a smile and your cheeks suddenly feel warm. The next time you notice his glance while you’re dancing together with Zoe and Louise. But before you can give him a smile he looks down on his drink.

You can feel his glance lingering on you the whole evening. Sometimes he doesn´t even notice that you catch him starring at you and you doubt for a moment that he is really looking at you. But it can be no incident that wherever you are in the room he is always looking your way. The leave the party with a good feeling and as you lie in bed you keep on thinking about Dan and his warm brown eyes on your body. Your thoughts revolve around the whole evening. Why was Dan starring at you so intensely? His glance was so strong you could physically feel it. It made your skin tingle and released a cascade of butterflies in your stomach. You fall asleep with pictures of Dan wandering through your mind.

You´re trying to keep an eye out for Dan the next day, but you´re busy doing panels and meeting different people and subscribers. You only see him swiftly as he passes you by walking down a hallway. Your eyes meet and a little smirk appears on his face, but he doesn´t say anything. You need all your strength to not turn around in hopes he might turn around too, so you just stare at the floor in front of you and continue walking. You spend the next hours analysing every second of your short meeting until you start to feel stupid. You´re probably just overanalysing. You take a deep breath and sigh, angry with yourself for being so naive.

On your way to your hotel room you meet Tyler who invites to come with him to the party tonight. “Perfect. I wanted to go anyway.” You say with a bright smile. “Is someone hoping to see someone?” Tyler asks in a suggestive tone, winking at you. You feel yourself blushing and start to stutter. Tyler fully bursts out laughing, winks again and just walks away. Suddenly you start to question who was looking at who. Where you actually starring at Dan and just wished it was the other way around. This evening, you decide, you´re not going to look at Dan at all. Tyler knocks at your door punctually at 10pm and picks you up for the party. “Oh! Someone´s dressed to impress!” Tyler shouts as you open the door. You´re wearing a short black dress and some black heels with a red sole. You feel caught and even more stupid than early. You´re about to ask Tyler if your behaviour was really that conspicuous, when he says “Girl, I have no idea why he hasn´t asked you out yet.” You freeze and blankly stare at Tyler. Does this mean you´ve been right the whole time? You don´t want to get your hopes to high and decide to just see how the evening goes.

As you arrive at the party after the last day, Dan is already there. Your eyes meet for the glimpse of a second before you´re pulled away by someone. You´re happily greeted by Zoe and Louise and together with them you go for your first cocktail. You grab your drinks and go straight for the dancefloor, when you notice Dan looking at you. You make eye contact and this time he doesn´t look away. He smiles and this time you´re sure it is for you. A little flustered you smile back and embarrassed tuck a strain of your hair behind your ear. This procedure repeats a couple of times during this evening, but neither of you ever goes over and talks to the other one. The evening ends with a last glance and a last wistful smile. You return to your hotel room and lie awake in your bed, thinking about the day. You can see Dan´s face flashing before your eyes. The brown of his eyes, his sharp jawline, the chocolatey colour of his fringe and the soft red of his full lips. It takes hours before you fall asleep. Tomorrow is the last of Vidcon, the last chance.

You recognize that your drink is empty and walk over to the bar to order another cocktail. From the corner of your eye you see someone stepping next you. You turn your head and see Dan standing next to you. It feels like some poured a cold liquid into your stomach, while your cheeks feel hot. You exchange a quick glance and a swift sweet smile. You both order your drinks and share another glance while waiting. Your drink comes first and you think about just going back to the dancefloor, when you remember that this is the last day, the last possible chance for something to happen. You take a deep breath and take all your courage.

“Are you ever going to talk to me, or are we just endlessly look at each other when we think the other one is not noticing anything.” You say with a smile. Dan´s cheeks turn bright red and he looks completely surprised and flustered. He stammers some inaudible words and flails his arms. You burst out in laughter seeing his weird behaviour. He eventually offers you his hand and says “I´d love to talk to you. I´m Dan.”

You giggle and shake his hand “I know. Nice to meet you Dan, I´m Y/N.” Dan smoothly slides closer to you and stops only inches from you. You can feel the warmth of his body and smell his cologne. You start talking to each other while waiting for Dan´s drink. When his cocktail arrives he offers you his hand once again. “Do you want to dance?” he asks with an uncertain smile on his face. You nod and take his hand, letting him lead you to the dancefloor. You rhythmically start to sway to the music. Your bodies move in perfect synchronization. From time to time Dan´s body softly brushes against yours, leaving a tingling feeling where his bare skin touches yours. You can´t stop looking at each other and forget everything that is happening around you. The last beams of sunlight colour the sky in the most beautiful shades of red, orange and pink. The light gives an incredible sparkling glow to Dan´s eyes. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach dancing to the same beat as you and him.

The Call of Your Soul - Bonus Chapter 2/2 (Dan´s POV)

My whole body is shaking as I dial my mom´s number. She picks up very quickly, sounding happy and cheerful. “Hi honey, are you done packing? Just a few more hours!”

“Hi mom, uhm, this is kind of hard, but I´m – I´m not coming.” I stutter into the phone. A big shiver runs over my body and leaves a cold feeling behind, causing me to get goose bumps. My mom stutters something inarticulate before saying “What do you mean? Of course you´re coming with us. We already bought the tickets and everything.”

“I know, I know.” I answer with a sigh. “And I´m going to pay for all of it, but I can´t come. It´s hard to explain but I need to be here. In London.”

“Daniel James Howell, you´re going to pack your bags right now and you´re going to fly with us in exactly six hours!”

“Mom, I´m not going to come!” I say with an unarguable certainty in my voice. My mom stays silent for a moment. I imagine her biting her lip and thinking about what to say, when I hear my grandma in the background. I can´t understand what she is saying but my mum replies saying “It´s Daniel, he says he doesn´t want to come with us.” Her voice is filled with anger. My grandma chuckles. She sounds nearer now. “Let the boy stay if he wants to.” She says in a caring tone.

“No way, he is clearly out of his mind.” My mom retorts. “Oh for god´s sake, of course he is. He was hit by a car only a few months ago. They almost declared him dead. You can´t expect him to live like nothing happened. Now give me that phone.” Her words are followed by a rummaging sound. “Daniel?” My grandma’s voice is very clear now, she obviously took the phone from my mum.

“Yes grandma, I´m still here.” I answer trying to repress a laughter. I can imagine my mom still standing next to her with an angry face. “Ok, listen. You do whatever you feel like you need to do and I handle everything with your mum, don’t worry. Take all the time you need. Merry Christmas, Darling.” Her voice is caring and soft. “Merry Christmas, grandma.” I answer and can´t help but smile. We say our goodbyes and suddenly I´m left alone in silence. I unpack the few items off closing I already packed and put away the suitcase. I go into the living room and try to distract myself with watching some TV, but I feel restless. My mind is wandering through everything that has happened since the accident. I wander through the house, walk from the living room to the kitchen back in my room. I even walk into Phil´s room although I know he´s not there. It quickly gets dark outside and my crisis gets worst. I turn off all of the lights and curl into the ball. Everything falls silent, except for the ticking of the clock on my desk.

I don´t want to feel those things anymore. It´s like my heart tells me to do something but my brain is too stupid to understand it. And I still can´t get this voice out of my head.

“Keep fighting, we´re so close to being together.”

I hear this sentence playing in my head over and over again. I can feel the warmth of tears streaming down my face. Why did she leave? She said we were close to being together, but I never felt further away from everything. I feel like my ribcage is bursting any minute. I can´t stay inside apartment. And I haven´t eaten the whole day. I grab my coat and walk out of the door, just go back inside and get an umbrella. I didn´t even notice it started snowing, but the streets are already covered in a thin layer of white. I aimlessly start walking the down our road and quickly google which restaurants are open on Christmas Eve and I find one that serves a traditional Christmas dinner. Even though taking the tube would be quicker, something tells me to walk. I tuck my hands inside my pockets and make my way through the snowy streets of London. The streets are almost empty. Everybody is inside celebrating Christmas with their loved ones and I slowly start to doubt if not going with my family was the right decision.

I was just thinking about booking a flight to India the next day when I find myself on the Westminster Bridge. And suddenly I feel the same spark inside me I felt in the hospital. The same spark that ignited the fire my soul and lead me out of the black nothingness. I look up and a see a girl standing a few feet away from me. She is looking at the river flowing under the bridge. Snowflakes gracefully descend around her, covering her coat. Her hair looks already damp, she´s probably standing there for a while and I wonder if she is causing the fire inside my soul. I´m shaking again and start walking over to her, not even sure if I should talk to her. I just want to know if she is one causing these feelings. With every step I can feel the burning inside my soul getting stronger. It´s the same fire that was burning inside me while was in the hospital. I can hear that voice inside my head again. So close to being together. So close I can almost touch her.

She is still looking at the water, watching the snowflakes melt on the surface of the river. It seems like she feeling just as hollow and empty as me. I take a deep breath and put my umbrella over her head. “I´m sorry, but are you ok?” I ask. I can hear my voice almost breaking. She turns around and our eyes meet for the first time. Her eyes shine illuminated by the street lights. She looks a bit confused but I can see a spark of recognition in them, but she still hasn´t said a word and I´m suddenly uncertain if this is the right thing to do.

“I´m sorry, that was pretty invasive, considering I don´t even know you.” I add, cautiously watching her reacting. “No, don´t worry! That was very considerate of you. I guess I just have a little Christmas Blues.” She says with a bright encouraging smile. A shiver runs through my body. That´s her, that´s the voice I heard while I was in coma. The voice that was hunting me all these months. My stomach clenches and my thorax feels constricted. She is the one I was hoping to find.

“I understand that very well. I never spend Christmas alone before. I was supposed to spend Christmas with my family on a hot exotic beach in India, but I kind of couldn´t go and decided to stay last minute. Like something was calling for me to be here – Why am I telling you this?” I start to ramble. I can´t stop looking into her sparkling eyes, while I´m holding the umbrella over her head like an idiot. The snow is sinking slowly to the ground around us.

“I have no idea.” she giggles, adding “But I´m glad I have met you tonight.” with a smile. I´m not sure what to say next and embarrassed rub my neck. I want to keep her talking, want to keep her by my side. “Well – I’m on my way to a restaurant.” I say in a bad attempt to invite her. I can practically see the sparkle drowning from her eyes.

“They serve a traditional Christmas dinner for those who can´t cook or are alone on Christmas Eve. And you seem a little lonely too. Do you want to be plus one for my Christmas Eve feast?” I add in a soft voice, still embarrassed. I really don´t want her to go. She looks surprised and unsure and I suddenly start to get doubts. What if I just want her to be the one, what if I was so desperately wanting to find the girl that saved me, that I can´t see things clear anymore?

“I´m sorry, I don´t know why I asked that. That was really creepy, we just met. Oh god, that was so embarrassing. I don´t normally do this.” I stutter to apologise myself and look down at my feet. How could I have been so blind?

“I don´t think it´s creepy. I would love to be your plus one for tonight.” She interrupts my thoughts and gives me another bright smile. I feel e a little relived but her reaction really had me confused. “I seriously have no idea what I´m doing. This doesn´t look like me.” I add, still struggeling with my feelings. Suddenly the girls softly puts her hand on my arm and my soul catches fire. I can feel her soul touching mine and there is no doubt anymore that she is the one that saved my life in the hospital.

“Let´s just call it fate we met and enjoy the rest of the night. After all no one should spend Christmas alone.” She says calmly and I know that she feels the same way, that she knows too. I nod and point down the “This way my lady.” I say jokingly and offer her my arm. She smiles and puts her arm back on mine.

The evening at the restaurant is amazing. I keep asking her question after question just too keep her talking. Her presence makes me feel at ease. And for the first time in months I feel like I´m whole again. She sometimes hesitates before she answers some of my questions, but I´m not going to push her. We all have our secrets and that doesn’t make her less perfect and the time flies. It´s about 2am when they basically throw us out of the restaurant.

“I didn´t even notice how fast time went.” I say as we step outside. “Me neither. It was a really nice evening.” she answers, sad that this evening is ending way too quickly. “I kind of don´t want to go home just yet. How about a night walk along the Themse?” I suggest in a hopeful tone. I never want her to leave my side again, now that I found her. She doesn´t bother to answer and takes my arm.

We take a walk underneath the stars and when it´s time to say goodbye I gently kiss her and whisper “I don´t know what happened today, all I know is that earlier on that bridge I felt like your soul was calling for me and I never felt connected the way I feel connected to you.” And all I know is, that this is true. I don´t why our souls are connected that way, but they are and ever since she saved me at the hospital, my soul was calling for hers and her was calling for mine and everything suddenly made sense.

Sorry for being so inactive lately but I did spend Easter with my family and Uni starts again next week. I’ll post the second part of the bonus chapter from ‘The Call of Your Soul’ tomorrow and two new fics next week. Thank you all so much for being so lovely ❤️

Love to Hate Fanfic - Request Sunday #20

~The Fanfic for today´s Request Sunday is based on the following Request~

You struggled making this decision but in the end you had to admit, that this was definitely the best way. On the positive side you could finally spend some quality time with Phil and had the opportunity to experience London with a real Londoner. On the downside spending time with Phil and staying at his place also meant spending time with his roommate Dan. You really tried getting along with Dan but every time the two of you ended up fighting and arguing about something. This guy was seriously getting on your nerves and for some reason he seems to know exactly how to make you mad. But for the sakes of spending time with Phil and saving a lot of money for not staying at a hotel you decided to just go for it.

The first day wasn´t even that bad. Both boys picked you up from the airport and Dan even gave you a hug, a half-hearted one, but better than none, you thought. Together you went back to their apartment to drop your luggage before they showed you around London. You did all the touristy stuff and actually had a lot of fun together. You ended the day with some Nandos and watching a movie. From there it went pretty downhill. The next morning you had an argument with Dan about cereal, then about where to go first, where to eat. The argument about where to eat evolved into an argument about music, from there it went to movies, the concept of free choice and from there to the existence of humanity. At the end of the day you were exhausted and angry. This was not how you imagined your weekend in London and you felt sorry for Phil because he had to deal with your arguments.

You´re lying awake at night still thinking about all the fights you had with Dan that day. Phil already went to bed but you can still hear Dan rummaging in his room. You struggle for a moment before jumping out of bed and quietly walking down the stairs. You carefully knock on Dan´s door.

“Come in.” he says quietly and you carefully open the door. “Oh, it´s you.” He adds as he looks up from his laptop. ‘Great start’ you think and repress an annoyed sigh.

“Yeah I wanted to talk to you about today.” You say conciliatory. Dan puts his laptop to the side and stands up from the bed. “Did you finally come to realise you´ve been wrong with everything.” He asks in a sarcastic tone raising his eyebrow. You look at him in shock and immediately feel yourself exploding inside. You take deep breath. “How dare you, you little narcissistic, rude, quarrelsome, temperamental smart aleck.” You spit out, almost yelling the last words. With every word you say Dan comes closer until he´s only inches away from you. “Are you done?” he asks. You nod, starring right back into his eyes, feeling the anger inside your stomach burn. Suddenly Dan puts his hands on your cheeks and kisses you. He momentarily breaks away and breathes “It really turns me own when you give me contra.” before pressing his lips on yours again. You´re startled by his sudden outburst but instinctively let yourself sink into the kiss. His kiss is rough and passionate. He´s biting your lip and pressing his so hard against yours it almost hurts. You can feel the anger inside you turn into passion and you wrap your arms around his body, pulling him closer to you, responding to his actions just as roughly. He instantly reacts to your touch, lifting you up and almost throwing you onto the bed. He gets on top of you and starts to undress you almost tearing your clothes from your body.

Quickly you start to undress him, throwing his clothes on the floor. You press your body against his skin and wrap your legs around his waist, letting him push inside you without hesitation. Dan presses his lips back against your to repress a moan as he pushes his hard member inside you. Flooded with lust and desire you scratch his back, leaving thin marks on his soft skin. Dan pushes you hard onto the mattress. You tighten the grip around his back, twine your legs around his waist and push him over, putting you on top. It´s like your fight went from being verbal to being sexual as you´re both fighting for dominance. But you can´t deny how good it feels to be fucked by Dan like this and his passionate husky moans tell you he´s feeling the same way. “If I´m actually doing this I might as well enjoy it.” You think and close your eyes as you rhythmically let yourself sink on his cock. Dan throws his head back in pleasure, his back arches and you need to tightly grab his arms not to fall off, leaving scratches all over them too. It feels like Dan´s cock got even harder and you know he can´t take it any longer. You lean over him and make eye contact for a second, before kissing him and pushing is cock deep inside you over and over again. Dan slips a moan between kisses and you both come in pure ecstasy.

Exhausted you collapse next to Dan. Your breath is going quick and the places where Dan grabbed you are feeling a bit sore. You scan the floor around the bed for your clothes, when Dan softly places his hand on your shoulder. You turn around and your eyes meet his warm brown ones. “Would you stay?” he asks in a soft tone. You hesitate for a moment. Even though the sex just was amazing, it was still Dan. It might be peaceful now but who knows what tomorrows going to be like. You´ll probably get back to fighting. You just love to hate each other. You search Dan´s eyes for emotions but they are just as hard to read as always. You sigh and sink back onto the pillow. Yes, you´ll probably keep fighting tomorrow, but that´s tomorrow and now you´re just tired. Too tired to deal with this problem right now. Dan wraps you in his arms and covers you both with his blanket, before turning off the light. He rests his head lightly above yours. “You know that I was still right with everything.” He whispers sarcastically but in a soft tone. You don´t bother to answer.

I want you now - Request Sunday #19

~The Fanfic for today´s Request Sunday is based on the following Request~

The sun was bright and warm, illuminating your tanned skin. You enjoy the feeling of warmth the sun beams leave on your skin before diving head first into the pool. The water is cold but refreshing. You dive for a few meters before swimming back to the surface.

Together with some other YouTubers you were spending some vacation days in Australia, enjoying the warm weather and just being lazy for a few days. You bought a new bikini just for this vacation and were really excited for the other girls to see it. Zoe and Lousie were already in the pool, refreshing themselves and slowly swimming while chatting. “That bikini is so freaking cute.” Louise says in a squealing tone.

“The colour really compliments your eyes!” Zoe adds nodding. You smile, happy that the others like your bikini. You swim around with the others some time. While you´re in the water the other slowly arrive and lie down on the deck chairs standing around the pool. You slowly swim in small circles when you catch Dan watching you from the corner of your eye. You can´t help but smile a little, but you let your noticing show. Your skin starts to look a bit like a raisin and you decide to get out of the pool for a while. As you´re climbing out of the pool you make eye contact with Dan. Or to be more honest you catch him starring at you. You give him a little smile and feel yourself blushing a little bit. For a couple of months you and Dan were kind of a thing but nobody knew about it, not even Phil.

You grab your towel and dry off your hair a little bit. You are about to search for an empty deck chair when someone grabs your arm. You turn around and see Dan standing right next to you. He pulls you closer and whispers in your ear. “I want you right now.” His voice is husky and passionate. He tightens his grip, takes a quick look around and pulls you back into the hotel. A little confused you just follow him back to his room. The second he closes the door he presses you against the wall and presses his lips against yours. “You looked so fucking hot coming out of the water.” He whispers between kisses. “The way the water slowly was dripping from your soft tanned skin. Your wet hair falling down your shoulders and back. Seeing your hard nipples through your bikini.” His kisses get more rough and passionate. “God, I want you so bad.” He moans and lifts you up, instinctively you wrap your leg around his waist. Dan´s hands are all over your body, rough and ardent. Your delicate area is being pressed against Dan´s crotch. You can feel him getting hard through the fabric of his swim shorts.

The feeling of his hard member arouses you and you gently start rubbing your delicate area against it. You softly moan which each move, fully aware that Dan is watching you closely and obviously enjoying your arousal. Passionately you grab his neck and moan “Fuck me now, Howell.” Dan quickly carries you over to the bed and pulls of your bikini in a quick movement. He spreads your legs and runs his fingers through your wet delicate area. You ardently spread your legs wider and allow Dan to push his cock inside you. You draw a sharp breath overwhelmed by the feeling of Dan pushing his full length inside you. Dan´s hot breath burns on your neck with every moan. A shiver runs through your body as Dan starts thrusting roughly. The sound of your moans fix with his. “I can´t stop thinking about you coming out of the pool.” Dan whispers softly in your ear. “The way the droplets of water on your skin reflected the sunlight and were running down the curves of your body.”

His words make you shiver and you wrap your legs around his waist to push him further inside you. Dan rapidly picks up a faster pace. Your moans get louder and echo through the room, while Dan continues to fuck you harder. You never thought that a simple cute bikini could lead to this, but you´re definitely going to wear it more often.

You arch your back and throw your head back as the orgasm floods through body, and repeatedly moan Dan´s name. Exhausted you sink back on the mattress and take a few deep breaths. “We can´t stay for much longer. The others are probably already wondering where we are.” Dan says. He is still out of breath. You agree reluctantly and five minutes later you´re back at the pool. You jump back into the water while Dan goes back to lying down on his deck chair, but you can still fell his glance lingering on your body. You provocatively move your body through the water, watching Dan biting his lip with arousal.

It´s already late at night when someone knocks on the door of your hotel room. You´re not very surprised to see standing in front of the door. The second you open the door he rushes inside and pushes you against the wall, mumbling “I know what you did earlier in the pool, but gosh you looked so fucking sexy.” He kisses you with pure passion and the cycle repeats.